It feels like, right now, my future is just the matter of a few simple decisions and then suddenly my life, my future, has already taken shape. And that’s honestly terrifying.
All those years at school, learning and taking exams to test what I’ve learnt, have come up to these few years and to the decision that’s waiting for me right now. What uni do I go to, and more importantly, what the bloody hell do I study, because I had it all so set out and suddenly it’s not set out anymore, and the uncertainty of everything feels like it’s killing me.
If I pick teaching, I’m qualified at 21, and that’s it. That’s my life sorted for the rest of my years. I work and I work and I work for three years, and then I find myself a job, and then I’m done.
But what about English Lit, and then teaching? What the heck do I put myself through? Do I do this first, and then give myself so many more options, and then go to teach, or maybe find another route into something else I wouldn’t be able to do with just a teaching degree? Not to forget to mention the fact that I’ll be spending £9,000 a YEAR. THREE YEARS. FOUR WITH TEACHING. £36,000 IN DEBT AT THE AGE OF 24 and I’m 17 and I’m calculating my future for myself, and everything is a mess. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know where I’m supposed to go from here.
I can only pray He guides me to happiness. I just don’t know anymore. :’(
I know when I was going to college/about to graduate, I felt the same way: like once I made these “big decisions”, my life would be set, that’s it - easy sailing after that. Or even if it wasn’t “easy-sailing,” it would be figured out. Fortunately (or unfortunately depending on your outlook), my life has not just been “smooth sailing” since I graduated college and entered the work force. I have made many tough decisions since then and have even had some tearful nights of venting and worrying with my best friends aboutwhattheheckamigoingtodowithmylife!?!
I think what I am trying to say is this: The good news is: you are not alone. I know many of your peers are dealing with the same stresses and I can guarantee that as long as you work hard and pursue your goals and dreams, you can’t really go wrong. Try to avoid debt whenever possible, but debt is something you can manage and live with, so don’t let that make you so scared that you do not pursue the things that are most important to you. Also, please remember that the things that are important to you can and will change - and that is a good thing!
Now, the bad news is: you are not alone and it doesn’t really get easier. Once you make all these “big” decisions, there are many more awaiting you. I thought I had done all the leg work for my life when I finally landed my teaching job and, one year later, that seems like small potatoes compared to some of the problems and decisions I have faced since then. The thing you have to remember is you. are. young. so young! and you have lots of time to make these decisions and unmake them if you feel you need to. Choosing your college major isn’t permanent, a degree isn’t your sealed fate for life (in fact many people work in jobs that have nothing to do with your degree field), you don’t owe your first job a lifetime of service, and, no matter how well you think you have it “figured out”, life has a fabulous way of throwing you curveballs every now and then just to keep you on your toes.
You are going to be okay. Actually, probably better than okay. You are going to be marvelous.